praying through the days

The top of the page reads May 02, 2020.  Saturday. Day 168.

Dear God.

Life sure has changed a lot since day one when I  promised to write daily in my prayer journal for 30 days.  It was sometime in November.  I had this prayer request on my mind and wanted to make sure God was leading me or if it was me leading myself–which is never good without Him.

I told myself I would pray for 30 days diligently for this request, writing in my prayer journal and then after those days passed if I felt like God was leading me then I would take the next step.

Thirty days has turned into 168 days.  Twelve days shy of six months.  Twelve days short of a half of a year.  And I’m still penning my prayers to God.  But the thing is my prayer request–the 30-day focus–God are you leading me in this direction? My prayers are much different now.  I still pray for direction on this matter–not daily– it’s not the focus of writing in my prayer journal anymore.

We often think our prayers are meant only for our requests–for asking. I have come to learn pouring our hearts out to God in prayer–in conversation, whether on our knees, writing in a journal, praying while in the car, sitting quietly on the front porch, in a prayer closet–yes, it is about asking God for direction and lifting others for healing and help. But the privilege of prayer is so much more. It’s that one-on-one conversation with the One who gives us breath.  And it’s a privilege and grace to go to His throne. For friendship. For guidance. For comfort. For healing.  And to thank Him.

Dear God, It’s been a tough day.  And I know you already know that.

Dear God, The stress has been a little overwhelming today. And then I walk out to the garden You gave me–get my hands dirty and then I remember all the good of the day–the blessings.

Dear God, Today has been a good day.  Thank you for answered prayers. God, I’m going to write my prayer a little different tonight.  Here’s a list, God of all of the blessings I received today.  Because of You.

Dear God, Today I have allowed tension for some reason to steal my joy in You.  I don’t understand why.  Please forgive me.

Dear God, Thank you for another Sabbath.  It was different today, God.  Sitting at my kitchen table watching our church’s faithful pastor deliver a message by the way of a screen rather than from the pulpit.  And hearing the pastor’s wife using the gift of her voice and song to lift up your name.  It’s still hard God not to cry.  From the missing of worshipping in your house.

The days on our calendars look much different than the plans we had just a few months ago.  The plans we made–some have been changed.  Some erased–not meant to be. And with this has come fears, frustration, tears, feelings of loss, struggles.  And hope and good and healing and grace and mercy.

And this morning outside my window, a bluebird is perched on the Shepherd’s hook–his coat of blue shining in the morning sun.  God’s beauty has not changed and neither has His love. Pray. Talk with Him. Cry to Him. Praise Him. He’s listening.

Cause me to hear thy lovingkindness in the morning; for in thee do I trust: cause me to know the way wherein I should walk; for I lift up my soul unto thee.

Psalm 143:8 (KJV)